He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
