marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
