He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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