i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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