We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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