She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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