ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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