I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
