Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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