i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
