Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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