Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
