that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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