I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
