Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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