I'm lost and stupid without you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
