Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
