can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
