cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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