You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
