This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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