I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
