ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
