Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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