you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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