the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
