Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
