You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
