are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
