Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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