i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
