That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
