so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
