these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
