hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
