this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
