Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
