their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
