it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Let's paint friendship bongs
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
