I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
