you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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