I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i dont even know how to be here
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
