I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
