he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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