home. puking in laundry basket.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
