Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't deserve a penis
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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