she peed on how many people?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
