You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
