He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
