our cab driver is having phone sex.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
